In any open-ended question, score that amount of points. In any yes/no question, score 1 for yes, 0 for no.

a) How many letters in your first name? (divide by 2) b) Do you have a name prefix (Dr., Sir, etc.)? c) Do you have a name suffix (Jr., Sr., etc.)? (multiply by 2) d) How many steps are in your cafe-purchased coffee (excluding size and type)? (for example, “small black coffee” counts as one step; “extra large triple-shot no-foam skim milk sugar-free vanilla latte with an extra pump” counts as six) e) Is it Starbucks? (multiply by 2) f) What is the size of your car’s engine, in liters? g) Is it a pickup truck or SUV? h) Is it JDM? i) Is it a BMW? (multiply by 2) j) Is it a Prius? (multiply by 2) k) What size of wheels (in inches) do you have on your car? l) Have you ever called someone a douche? m) Do you use IRC? n) Do you wear a Bluetooth hands-free headset outside of your car? (multiply by 3) o) Have you had more than one girlfriend in the last month? (multiply by 5) p) How many email accounts do you have? q) Do you have a smartphone? r) Do you talk loudly about your big merger, stock deal or dinner with your wife while in line at the grocery store? (multiply by 2) s) Do you have iced tips? t) Have you ever bleached your hair? u) On a scale of 1 (barely audible) to 11 (you’ve been yelled at to turn it down), how loud do you play music in your car? v) Same question, but for headphones on public transit. w) How many friends do you have on your Facebook, MySpace, Nexopia, Bebo or other social network friends list? (divide by 10)

Now it’s time to get the answer to the question you took this for – just how much of a douche are you? To get the answer, just add all the above answers together. Take note of their weighted score.

I went to see the midnight Calgary premiere of Quantum on Thursday night (Friday morning, for those who actually care), and I must say, it was good. Not mindblowing, but good.

The film opens minutes after the ending of Casino Royale, with a spectacular car chase throughout the tunnels and a quarry in Italy, reminiscent of the foot chase opening in Royale through the construction site. It’s a rather short pre-titles sequence, which then cuts to one of the best title animation sequences I’ve seen in Bond history. Interestingly, the start of the film after the credit sequence takes place mere minutes after the pre-titles sequence ended, which is a rarity in the world of James Bond.

This rapid-fire pace barely lets up over the course of the entire film, which is both a blessing and a curse. It keeps you riveted to the screen unlike almost any other film that I can think of, however it also makes the already short film feel even shorter.

Things I Really Liked

If this entry in the franchise is nothing else, it’s the only Bond film to date that’s an art & design film. The set design is especially beautiful, with stark, modern furnishings that reflect Bond’s coldness. He’s learned his lesson in love and trust and is still feeling the pain of the loss of Vesper. All of the set design, from the black & white, modern hotel to the observatory seem to reflect this. The ESO Hotel, in particular, will go down as one of the greatest Bond sets in the series’ history.

As mentioned briefly (and linked) above, I felt that the title sequence (designed by newcomers MK12) was astonishing. It foreshadowed the film’s climax beautifully, and reintroduces those sexy title sequence girls (you know what I’m talking about). Since it doesn’t have the geometric “drawn” style of the Royale animation, it’s much, much better.

Most of the film is beautifully shot, with breathtaking imagery and gripping action sequences. Sadly, it does get claustrophobic at times, due to (presumably) short lenses, which make it feel less glamorous than it should be. Even the typography during location changes is stunning.

The chosen actors and actresses in this film are surprisingly excellent in their roles. When I first watched the behind-the-scenes footage, nobody really stood out as being a Bond actor. However, after seeing their performances on the big screen, I was impressed by the casting.

Other things I enjoyed were the continuation of the gritty, serious feel, the soundtrack, and the skilled direction of the film by Marc Forster.

Things I Didn’t Like

The major problem with this film is that it doesn’t feel like a classic Bond film any more. But maybe our expectations were wrong. If the producers kept churning out copies of old films, I wouldn’t be impressed. Therefore, I propose that we give the newest generation of Bond its own designation. Dr. No through Die Another Day are all very formulaic, and therefore are “classic” Bond films. Being a reboot, Casino Royale abandoned all sense of continuity, and therefore should be considered the “new” James Bond. But I digress…

The plot in this film is a bit thin. In some ways, that’s a good thing – the oft-most criticized part of Layer Cake (another Daniel Craig film) is the complex plot. But it didn’t have the immediate scariness of Thunderball, for example, with the villain holding countries hostage with atomic power. This film is more realistic, and with that, a certain fantastical magic that Bond films have traditionally had is lost.

The only other critique I could offer of this film is that it was far too short. I believe that they could have spent more time telling the story and it would be just as interesting (if not moreso) and nudge the 2:00 mark quite comfortably.

Final Rating

10 – Thunderball, Goldfinger and Casino Royale

9

8

7 – Quantum of Solace

6

5

4

3

2

1 – Die Another Day, Moonraker

Verdict: Action-packed and edgy, but somehow lacking Bondian magic.

Even more irritating is when an indie band starts to get mainstream followers, and all the indie kids get pissed off about it. Because, it’s apparently uncool for an indie kid to like mainstream music, even if it is something they’ve been listening to since before it was a Top 40-er.

Anyway, all three volumes are excellent. My favourite tracks on each volume:

1. MHz
2. Domenica Pomeriggio
3. Scared of Everyone

Go buy them on iTunes or Amazon today.